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On s'habitue à tout, et meme a la beaute.
"Happiness hit her like a train on a track..."
Memo 
21st-Apr-2010 09:12 am
Maggie Gyllenhaal
I've been thinking something for quite a long time, and recently, surprised at my behavior, I started to wonder what had prompted me to emit that behavior in the first place.

I hate friends cuts, and like a good denizen of LJ, you know, there's that 'your journal, your rules' thing. But you know, my journal, my rules. And I hate friends cuts. I think they reduce internet friendships back down to something that is 1. disposable, 2. something too much like high school for me. It makes friending people feel like voluntarily entering into some worthiness contest, and heaven knows real life makes itself into a worthiness contest without me worrying about it here. I know the people who think that LJ friending is more like a readership, okay, fine, think that way, but to be fair, unless you're journal is all public, it's about access to that readership and who is worthy of it or not. But I guess I just don't view it that way.

What I see is instead of each person being judged on their merit at the time you make the decision that it isn't someone worth knowing or reading for whatever reason, there is a wholesale, wave-of-the-wand judgement call, like 'you guys are good enough' and 'you guys weren't, sorry, nothing personal!'

So basically, here's how it is. If you have a friends cut, then put me on it. If you don't like my stance, defriend me. I obviously don't have the high ground, not posting much anymore, but yeah, I don't care. I feel like I'm better off not wondering how long I'm going to know any particular person.

ETA: Mass deleting inactive journals isn't what I'm talking about. Unless your idea of inactive is two weeks, but then I'm a goner anyhow, so still not part of this statement.
Comments 
(Deleted comment)
21st-Apr-2010 02:32 pm (UTC)
Depends. I do get annoyed at how easily 1 month of silence = never coming back, but no in general those types of friends cuts are what they are, and it's a whole different beast. So to answer, no I don't think it counts. :)

21st-Apr-2010 02:44 pm (UTC)
I'm annoyed at people deleting people who haven't updated for several weeks or months. It's like when you know someone online and decide to cut them, it means the end of the friendship, which is ridiculous! It's the same with letters - some people just cut penpals if they only hear from them once a year. I don't get it as isn't it nicer to hear from someone once a year than never again?
21st-Apr-2010 08:26 pm (UTC)
I think it's nice to know the person when you both have something to talk about rather than just cut it off because they aren't talking all of the time, but I guess that's not everyone's opinion.
22nd-Apr-2010 03:56 am (UTC)
Friend-cuts are dumb. I'm totally over that. I have deleted dead journals, but only because they weren't posted in for MONTHS. Other than that, you stick around if you like, and don't if you don't. *hugs*
22nd-Apr-2010 02:15 pm (UTC)
"You stick around if you like, and don't if you don't." I like this policy.
22nd-Apr-2010 02:08 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I hate friends cuts, too. It often makes people look like complete elitists, too. The ones that I find particularly annoying are those that people are doing because they don't want certain 'friends' to see their locked entries. Well, that's what filters are for.

Also, I've never understood de-friending someone just because your interests (usually fandoms) have changed. Why on earth can't you still remain friends? Besides, chances are that there'll be new fandoms in the future that you both enjoy.
22nd-Apr-2010 02:17 pm (UTC)
That last part, yes! I've had friends who we go through seperate fandom periods, but then we you both find a fandom again, funtimes you never would have had if you'd be defriended!

Then again I don't see why fandom has to be all there is to it in the first place!
22nd-Apr-2010 07:25 pm (UTC)
I agree with you. I've never done a friends cut. I only defriend when I'm defriended, or when a journal is deleted.ù

Once, I've been defriended because apparently, I didn't love a character enough. Mhh...*shifts eyes* okay then...
23rd-Apr-2010 04:11 am (UTC)
Hmm, was it at least a good character?

Odd thing is I've only been deleted when the person got rid of like half of their flist. HALF? Really? HALF?
22nd-Apr-2010 09:29 pm (UTC)
got to agree,some people go away for a little while and then come back.. it's almost like they are banished as punishment.You don't treat friends like that. I can understand if they are crude or their comments are suspect but shouldn't it be democratic?
23rd-Apr-2010 04:12 am (UTC)
I think the thought is that it isn't democratic because journals are private spaces.

But yeah, it's like heaven forbid you have a rl to get to!
23rd-Apr-2010 08:53 pm (UTC)
I hate friends cuts too, and I only cut people if they cut me first. So you're staying unless you've cut me. :P
25th-Apr-2010 01:24 am (UTC)
Don't de-friend as a policy! :)
10th-May-2010 04:38 pm (UTC)
*coughs*

So would this be a bad time to ask to friend you? :D
10th-May-2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
There's never a bad time to friend me! :D

Though fair warning, I'll be boring until I graduate, as it's busy, busy right now!

Edited at 2010-05-10 05:07 pm (UTC)
10th-May-2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
Dude! Are you into dramas? How did I miss that?
10th-May-2010 08:29 pm (UTC)
When I have time. Soooo addicting! Especially the Korean ones! <3 I think I have a list of ones to watch like twenty dramas long, haha.
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